No more winter please

I think spring is near. The birds are yelling about it. The trees are trying to shake off their seasonal depression. And my neighbor, who’s been wearing shorts since January like a psychopath, is finally starting to look weather-appropriate. Who’s got plans to escape the house and remind themselves what fresh air smells like? Camping? Fishing? Hiking? Or just finding a scenic spot to dramatically lounge like some kind of wilderness philosopher? Yeah, me too.

Winter’s been holding on like that one last Dorito crumb clinging to my beard—refusing to let go, even though we all know it’s time. But the sun’s creeping back in, and I’m ready to pretend I’m an outdoorsman for at least a weekend. Time to dust off the gear, pack enough snacks to survive a minor apocalypse, and bring the perfect EDC setup—because you never know when a casual hike turns into an impromptu survival situation (or when someone asks to borrow a knife, and you get to flex like a prepared legend).

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Spring is also a trickster. One day, it’s 75 and sunny, the next, you’re battling sideways sleet with a tent that suddenly hates you. So, plan wisely. Bring layers. Bring fire. Bring a backup plan that involves running back to the car and pretending you were never there. Just don’t let summer sneak up before you’ve had a chance to enjoy the good weather—because soon enough, the air will be thick enough to drink, and stepping outside will feel like being slow-roasted in nature’s convection oven. Nothing says yum like a well steamed human side dish...